I was reading another blog earlier (This Isn't What I Ordered). The author, Brian, has been discussing the expectations of a pastor. The entry provided a lot of insight for me as I consider what God's plan for my life may be. What struck me as odd or something that I hadn't considered was item #4.
"A pastor can't always be alone. This is a tough one. In so many ways, this is a lonely way of life, and I will always be an "outsider." This means I have to work harder to develop meaningful relationships, especially as an extrovert who needs to get out sometimes."
It reminds me of how often I see/hear of people in the presence of a pastor or minister change their behavior/speech upon realizing the minister's occupation. I find it very humorous. Do they feel they are less likely to go to hell if they don't cuss or swear in the presence of a pastor? Everyone wants to be the pastor's friend at church, but they don't want to invite them into their lives. They don't want to let the pastor know that they have failings in their lives and don't always live up to their own beliefs as Christians. Do they think pastors have a special "red line" phone system where they can call God and revoke their blessings? "Hey God, Bob ain't gonna' make it. Go 'head an' cancel his reservation. My pastor authority # 911777."
I hope more pastors can breach this "outsider" stigma and reach out to those who need to hear His voice. I pray more pastors develop the ability to lead by serving those who do not know Christ.
4 comments:
I'm glad I could provide some insight. You're spot on when you say "Everyone wants to be the pastor's friend at church, but they don't want to invite them into their lives."
I would say it like this: everyone wants to be the pastor's friend at church, and everyone wants the pastor to be available for them, but few want to be available for their pastor.
People change their talk and actions in front of "the pastor" even when it's my day off. They hide their beer and try to talk about "churchy" things, even if all I want is to hang out and talk about football.
Or, when they hear what I do, they run and hide...
It must be hard to get to know anyone when they are not themselves around you. I'm sure your tempted when asked your occupation to say "I'm a motivational speaker," "activities director," or "instructor." I pray that the men in your life realize that your still a guy who needs to do "guy" things. Afterall, Jesus was a man's man who liked to fish (for men of God).
I sometimes try the "I'm in the people business" or "I'm self-employed" (because that's the way I'm taxed), but both of those invite more discussion of "what does that mean?"
It is hard to get to know people when they're different people around me; it was nice at my last church that there was a group of guys my age who would go out to a bar and watch Monday Night Football and we could all just be ourselves. I'd drink my Coke or water and they'd have their pitchers of beer. Funny how one day one of them invited another guy to our church. "All your friends here are a part of the church," he told him.
I have seen that people do respond differently when they find out what I do. But to be anything less than completely honest is to be ashamed of my calling.
It is lonely. It is hard to also be friends with people who look to you for spiritual guidance. It isn't that I am on the pedestal. But there is an inherent presupposition, even if diminished in modern culture, that a pastor deserves a certain level of respect.
I was listening to NPR this morning. On Morning Edition they featured a story on "The Office" as a Management Training Tool. They refer to the boss of the office (sorry I don't watch this one and don't know characters) as the outsider. But he is the outsider who desperately wants to fit in with the workers.
Pastors are like that boss. There is a, maybe not glass wall, but a thin veil between clergy and laity. See, we even classify the two groups.
Be who you are. Be proud of your calling. People will respect you for those two things. And that should matter. Friends who are able to accept you and draw close to you with respect to those two areas will be friends in deed.
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